3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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