Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
