You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize