If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
