That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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