I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
