She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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