it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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