i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
