you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
