My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize