He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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