my sisters under your porch take her home
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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