dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
