frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
