I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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