These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
