shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
try to milk me bitch
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