I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
