What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
