She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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