I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am available for nakedness
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
