I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize