I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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