i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
