New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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