i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
