wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
