I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
