We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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