WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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