You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im part way to drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
