Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
