ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
