areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
