this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
