wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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