I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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