it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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