she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
