i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
