Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
