Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
