just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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