I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize