this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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