the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
