is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
