I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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