Cold hands, warm shart.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
