I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
