We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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