So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
