What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
