You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just gargled with NyQuil
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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