I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
