Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
