I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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