No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
