My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
