so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
