is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
