I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
