just tell him i said nine months
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
