bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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